13 Tiny Joys

Things that are keeping me going right now

I don’t know how to start these newsletters these days. Most of the time, I feel like shrieking into a pillow, and yet, that doesn’t translate in writing very well.

I’m not ignoring what is happening in the world right now, but I am overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the cruelty becoming part of daily news updates. I am so angry. I don’t want to be this angry for another 1,449 days.

I’m taking action in the ways I know how: showing up at school every day and finding extra patience and compassion for the terrified kids I have in my classroom—buying them more snacks, being extra compassionate and patient, and leaning into routines in hopes of abating their fear while also preparing to get ICE off my campus if need be. I’ve given money where I can and will continue to. I’m contacting my reps.

None of it feels like enough.

I’ll be back soon with an essay about friendship and depression. Until then, here are the tiny joys and actions that are keeping me alive right now. I’m sending you so much love. Can you feel it?

1. The 5Calls App. It takes less than five minutes to ensure your voice is being heard.

2. “Adding zest to existence.” Love Olivia’s words.

3. Taking a moment to notice when something small but ordinary feels good: walking into my warm, clean, new classroom on a chilly morning, the first sip of coffee, when a good song comes onto Spotify radio…small things.

4. The Handsome Podcast. Since I stopped doing stand-up five years ago, I’ve avoided most comedy-related things, but this podcast with Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster is so funny, light, and gay! Delightful.

5. I’m currently embracing a sweatshirt and jeans most days. It’s (California’s version of) cold, and coziness is my top priority. I bought this L’Ennui sweatshirt from Clare V, and I’m obsessed. It’s perfect for my mood, SO SO SO SOFT, and perfectly structured. I’ve paired it with my Little Rooms Sad Studs to make it a whole vibe. I have this cropped sweatshirt in navy blue and would wear it daily if I could.

6. Emily Amick’s Substack for thoughtful news and reminders — so good!

7. Connecting with friends more spontaneously. I had a random few hours this week and wanted to work in a coffee shop. On a whim, I texted a close friend who also likes to work in a coffee shop, and we had a quick catch-up before working side-by-side for a bit. More of this, please.

8. Also: connecting with friends more intentionally. I’m a huge fan of voice memos because I like to hear my friends’ voices and laughs and the din of their life in the background, and it feels like a secret, juicy podcast. This essay-turned-Instagram post by Ankita Shah made me cry this week because it perfectly encapsulated why I love voice memos so much.

   

9. Pressing this nourishing oil into my parched face. Feels so soothing. (U Beauty was kind enough to send me this, AND my code AMYESTES is still valid for 20% off if you’ve yet to jump on the U Beauty bandwagon — my favorite products are here!)

10. Spin class. The endorphins are keeping me mentally and physically healthy (somewhat), but I’ve also been grateful for my little crew of pals who ride at the same times I do and the friendships we’ve formed. It’s nice to have a community, something my introverted, hyper-independent self is increasingly realizing these days.

11. I adore Rachel Syme and I love her new book, Syme’s Letter Writer. I love mail and letters and I think this book has given me permission to purchase a wax seal and maybe a flower press?

12. Playing with my new Dyson Airwrap. My hair has been looking extra frizzy and weird lately, and I caved and bought the Airwrap designed for curly hair and am having fun clumsily playing around with it. I also purchased a straightener, which is surprisingly FUN. I went through middle school trying to straighten my bonkers curly hair armed with only a round brush, so it’s thrilling to have a tool that actually straightens my hair without it looking abjectly terrible. I’ve had far fewer crying meltdowns this time around, and thankfully, I don’t look anything like this:

IT WAS A TOUGH TIME, OKAY?

13. Poetry. Always poetry. I re-read and annotated Ada Limón’s Bright Dead Things, and it felt good to linger in her words. When focusing can feel tough and I am hungry for beautiful words

Tell me what’s keeping you going this week. What are you doing? How are you finding joy and action and rest and hope?